A Sacred “Yes”

“Fucking money man,” Arthur said derisively, as he and Levi approached the shuttle bay. “You know this whole thing was just to tempt us. They didn’t even need me here. But it’s like, hey bring your co-author too, we’ll take care of it. Just to show you how much fucking money they have to throw around. Seduce you a little to get you to work for them,” Arthur continued. Levi had a satisfied smirk, “Are you upset they didn’t offer you a job?” 

“Ha! I wouldn’t take it if they paid double what they offered you,” Arthur said.

“Why did you come then?” Levi asked.

“When the fuck else am I gonna see this stupid arid planet?”

“Sounds like you really enjoyed it.”

“It’s like I said before we left. It’s Vegas, but the sand’s red.”

“Well, I still appreciate you coming with me.”

“For you, anything!” Arthur said, winking and smiling sheepishly at Levi.

The line of passengers moved uniformly into the shuttle and the crew prepared for take-off. Once the ship left orbit, the passengers were free to roam. Arthur and Levi shared a first-class cabin with two beds. Just like they had on the way over two weeks prior. The return trip would take just over two months and the two of them had access to the spa, restaurants, bars, and VIP lounge as part of their all-expenses paid package. Arthur was already bored with the luxury options and had committed to reading and writing for most of the way home, while Levi kept insisting that they take advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be spoiled in space. They had been friends for over a decade and managed to work together despite their different disciplines. Arthur was trained as a philosopher, while Levi was a neuroscientist. They collaborated on several major works on states of consciousness that combined Arthur’s theoretical work with Levi’s scientific approach to produce novel ways of understanding existential suffering as a uniquely human phenomenon, distinct from other types of emotional and physical pain, down to the neuronal level. 

“I’m gonna head to the spa, you sure you don’t wanna come?” Levi asked one last time.

“Nah, I’m gonna try and get some writing done.”

“You’re missing out on life,” Levi said trying to rouse Arthur’s existentialism. 

“Nice try. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Levi left the room whistling while Arthur retained an unbroken gaze at the fluorescent glow of his computer screen. Words once flowed from his fingertips with a manic fury that had been blocked for some months now. Writing had been his therapy. But since their last paper together was published, Arthur felt somewhat despondent. “Maybe I’ve exhausted all my catharsis,” he thought. The idea that even his critiques–the very passion that raged inside him and required long, complicated prose to be extrinsically examined–could have an end, gave him a pang of anxiety. If this too became meaningless, he’d have no other outlet for his malaise. And pessimism without rage is just melancholia.

Arthur realized he’d been staring at his screen so long he could see the pixels in the blank document he had opened. No title, no words yet. Just a pulsating vertical line awaiting input. He thought, “That’s life right there. Tick. Tick. Tick. And then it stops.” Still not worth writing down. He’d written some version of that before. And he remembered Cioran’s last interview when the lonely old man in his Parisian attic was asked why he stopped writing and said he’d written sixteen books on despair and had no more left in him. Arthur rubbed his eyes and got up from his chair to find some liquid inspiration, his second favourite therapy. There was no whiskey in the room so he begrudgingly decided to wander to the bar, knowing he’d have to encounter other people. 

As he entered the dark-lit bar, a soft acoustic melody greeted him. He was pleasantly surprised by the welcoming live music and sparse patrons. There were four stools at the bar, three of them empty. He took a seat closest to the musician, ordered a scotch, and began to feel the tension in his shoulders drop. She was playing a jazz rendition of something familiar but he couldn’t quite remember what it was. It became an aggravating itch in his brain trying to solve the mystery. A few drinks later and still no luck. When she finished her set, she walked up to the bar to order a shot of tequila and a beer. He couldn’t resist any longer.

“I’m sorry but you were playing something when I walked in and it’s killing me that I can’t remember the song,” he said. 

She took up a stool beside him and pounded back her shot, then took a sip of her beer, and laughed. “You’re gonna kick yourself when I tell you,” she snorted.

“Oh no, is it that obvious?” Arthur said awkwardly, trying to be charming. 

“Most of the time people sing along to it.”

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“It’s the most fun I’ve had all night.”

“Oh, you must work on the ship.”

“The adventure of a lifetime,” she said, taking another swig of beer.

Arthur glanced at the stage, “You play here every night?”

“Yeah, except Sundays and Mondays.”

“Do you get any shore leave?”

“Yeah, but Mars is fucking expensive,”

“Tell me about it. This whole billionaire colony is absurd.”

 “And this gig doesn’t pay enough for me to go out, so I mostly just stay on the shuttle when we dock and save my off days for back home. Nine more weeks and I’ll officially be on vacation,” she said, raising a toast with her beer.

Arthur raised his glass and they drank to her imminent time off, “Where you gonna go?” he asked.

“I just wanna go camping and stare up at the stars for a change.”

“Ahh!” Arthur sighed, “That sounds perfect.”

 “Why were you here?”

“Honestly? I never thought I’d come here. In fact, I criticized the types of people who did. But then I got this offer. It was all paid for and I had this vain little part of me that couldn’t resist experiencing space. I convinced myself it was the closest thing to Star Trek, so I caved.”

“Wait! …But which series?” She said raising an eyebrow.

“Oof. We might not be friends after this,” Arthur said, sucking his teeth, “But I’m of the unpopular opinion that Voyager was the best.”

“Are you kidding me? They literally boldly went where no one had gone before. Hello? Delta quadrant? New species? Oh, and Tuvix! And Janeway was a total fucking boss!”

“Or we might be best friends!” Arthur said excitedly, clinking his glass to hers again. This time they both paused before drinking and looked each other in the eyes, then slowly took a sip in unison.

She smiled, “What’s your name bestie?” 

“I’m Arthur.”

“Nice to meetcha Artie. I’m Sonora, and by the way, it was Elenor Rigby”

“Fuuuuuck!” Arthur groaned. 

The lights in the bar flickered and a wave of turbulence shook the ship, shattering the glassware behind the bar. The shards of glass exploded and then seemed to stand still for a moment. Arthur looked perplexed and felt his body slow down to the same momentum as the glass, which was no longer still but moving, in what looked like a slow-motion blossom of glass petals. He felt like he was wading through water without a sense of gravity and in the next moment, he and the glass were violently hurled across the room into a wall at full speed. He lost sight of Sonora and wondered where she’d been flung. The ship settled for a moment and then began to shake as the gravity returned and shifted away from the floor and toward the back wall. Before he could be tossed to the back of the room, Arthur grabbed onto a fixture and peered out of the window.

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed as he saw the ship plummeting toward Earth. 

***

 Dazed and disoriented, Arthur widened his eyes and clicked his jaw to unstuff his ringing ears. His vision was blurred and he could barely breathe. The constant beeping of machines and fluorescent lights entered his consciousness, and before he could understand where he was he remembered the ship and the last thing he had seen. Had it been an illusion? He could not fathom what had happened and where he could possibly be. His head was pounding.

“Hello, Arthur. You may still be experiencing some confusion,” a voice said softly, “However, the effects should wear off shortly as your system adjusts. We are confident in a full recovery within the next hour.”

“Where am I? What am I doing here?” Arthur asked.

“I am sorry but this may be difficult for you. I will try my best to answer honestly and concisely. Please let me know if I can help clarify anything. You were recovered from a shuttle crash, and are one of seventeen other survivors. You sustained… critical injuries, that we have managed to treat effectively and you are now resting in a hospital.”

“How..? Am I on Earth?”

“Yes.”

“We had only left Mars a few hours ago…” Arthur said, still adjusting his eyes to the bright room.

“I understand your confusion. It appears your ship encountered an anomaly. Our records indicate that The Babylonia had disappeared in the late 21st century.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Arthur, this may be challenging to understand as we don’t yet have an explanation for the anomalous event. But you are currently in the year 2371. Your ship disappeared nearly three hundred years ago, and the crash, well…it happened yesterday.” 

Arthur rubbed his eyes with his palms and began to make out the person speaking with him. They were tall, with striking features, a dark complexion, and bright eyes, holding what looked like a digital pad. 

“Wait. How do you know my name?”

“The manifest of the Babylonia is public record, and your gene sequence was a positive match.”

“I can’t…”

“If you are feeling up for it, we have prepared an orientation for you and the other survivors. Your friend Levi is waiting for you.”

“He’s alive?”

Arthur was helped out of bed to his feet. His body was a little sore and he began to stretch his limbs and roll his back in his oddly comfortable hospital gown. The room appeared less hospital-like than he was accustomed to. None of the clinical sterility he remembered, but a rather warm environment encased in glass with lush plant life surrounding the room. The backdrop to his bed was the only glass pane frosted white, displaying his vitals, though he was not physically connected to any machines.  A small yellow bird landed on a branch just outside his room. Arthur watched the little bird chirp and felt his shoulders drop. All the soreness was gone and he felt completely revitalized. 

“You have fully recovered. How do you feel, Arthur?” 

“I feel…great. My back pain is gone…which…”

“Was a chronic psychosomatic condition.”

“How did you…?”

“I know this must be confusing and I am sure you have a lot of questions. The orientation should help answer any questions you and the others may have. Would you like to join them now?”

“Yes, thank you…uh…what is your name?”

“My name is Marseille. It is a pleasure to meet you, Arthur.”

 They walked together through dome-shaped halls encased in glass surrounded by more greenery and an open blue sky. The sun was shining above them and Arthur could see more birds flying overhead. They arrived in a reception room with a banquet of food and drinks on one side, circular tables with chairs filled the enclosure and people in hospital gowns were eating and chatting. The hospital staff were easily distinguishable, not merely from their attire, but they looked visibly different from the patients. They had somewhat larger eyes that Arthur only noticed in contrast to the shuttle passengers, and features that struck him as unique and alluring. They appeared mixed-race with variations in skin tone from tan to dark, dense hair in combinations of black, blonde, ginger, and brunette, while some had freckles, and others had bright honey-coloured eyes, deep greens, turquoise, browns speckled with blue, and deep black. 

“Are you sure we’re on Earth?” Arthur asked.

Marseille chuckled, “Yes, Arthur. I realize things must seem very different to you.”

“Look who’s back from the dead,” a voice called out from Arthur’s periphery. 

“Levi! You son of a bitch,” Arthur shouted excitedly. The two of them embraced and looked at one another in awe.

“I’m so fucking glad they were able to bring you back,” Levi said compassionately.

“What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t they tell you?” Levi asked, looking at Marseille.

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you, Arthur. You were quite disoriented when you woke up,” Marseille said.

“What’s going on?” Arthur asked.

“When the shuttle was found, there were only sixteen survivors. But we were able to revive you because you were still relatively…well… intact. And you had only been clinically dead for less than an hour. Unfortunately, the rest of the passengers were unsalvageable from the wreckage,” Marseille responded.

“Hey man, I’m just glad you’re fucking alive. This is wild, isn’t it?” Levi said.

“Yeah…” replied Arthur blankly. 

“Come have some food, this stuff is amazing,” Levi said, pulling on Arthur's arm. 

“You should eat something, the orientation will begin shortly,” Marseille added.

Levi took Arthur to the buffet and began making him a plate, pointing out all the delicious options as Arthur absently followed along. His senses all felt hazy. He could hear Levi speaking and see the food in front of him, but it all seemed to bypass his consciousness like a waking dream. After Levi had loaded two plates, they found seats at one of the round tables and sat down to eat. Levi was stuffing food into his face as Arthur was still lost in thought staring aimlessly into the distance. He felt a hand on his shoulder, “Artie?” And snapped out of his disillusioned gaze, “Oh my God. It’s you!”

“You’re…” Arthur mumbled.

“Sonora. I can’t believe you already forgot,” she said coyly, slapping his shoulder.  

“...alive!” Arthur continued. 

“Yeah. What’d you think a little space-warp-time-travel-crash-into-the-earth was gonna kill me?” Sonora said, pulling out a chair for herself, “Mind if I join you?”

“Please,” Arthur replied, unable to take his eyes off her.

“How’d you guys know each other?” Levi asked.

“Artie and I are best friends. We go way back,” Sonora said, raising her eyebrows.

Arthur shook his head as if to dispel his awe and turned to Levi, “We met in the jazz bar on the ship, just before the…anomaly.” 

“Ha! I forgot to tell you. I was in the hot tub when that shit went down and the last thing I remember is floating naked in a ball of hot water,” Levi said, laughing, then turning to Sonora, “Oh, sorry. I’m Levi by the way. Also Artie’s best friend.”

The hospital staff interrupted with an announcement that the orientation was going to begin. A group of four people, wearing outfits different from the hospital staff, walked to the front of the room and one of them began addressing the audience.

“Hello everyone. My name is Cambel and I’m here to offer you all some information about some of the big changes here on Earth over the last three hundred years or so, to hopefully help you better acclimatize to this new environment. First, I should say that we do not have any further information on the Babylonia, other than what has already been relayed to you regarding the crash. You, in this room, are the sole survivors. I know it may be little consolation but please rest assured we are making living arrangements for all of you along with support systems in place to help you adjust, which we will let you know more about shortly. But before you ask, no, we cannot send you back to your time. We do not have time travel technology, and technically speaking, backward time travel is impossible. However, we can help you locate living relatives, if you wish, which we can also discuss at the end of the orientation. Now, we have prepared a presentation for you to help put some of the pieces together.” 

The window behind Cambel, which looked outside to a forest, turned into a frosted white like Arthur had seen in his hospital room. Images of 20th-century Earth began to appear over the white screen. “There have been a lot of changes in the last three hundred years and I think it would be helpful for me to go through the ones we thought are most relevant, and then you can ask further questions about anything that may come to mind. How does that sound?” Cambel asked, looking around the room. Arthur too looked around to see the curious faces of his cohort. Cambel continued, “I believe you are all familiar with Darwinian evolution, and in your time many of your adaptive features were naturally selected for, to help you survive. However, as I am sure you already know, toward the end of the 20th century humanity was facing environmental degradation, climate change, resource depletion, ongoing wars and conflicts, economic crises, and a global mental health crisis. Even with investments in scientific and technological innovation, much of the progress made in one area would introduce new problems in another area. At a certain point, Darwinian evolution could no longer ensure the survival of humanity. The 21st century inaugurated a new paradigm. It’s what we call a post-Darwinian pathology of consciousness.”

Murmurs echoed throughout the room. “Are they saying what I think they’re saying?” Levi asked Arthur with a raised eyebrow. The images behind Cambel changed to highlight parts of the human genome. “You might be wondering what this means,” Cambel continued, “And I can see by your faces that some of you are concerned because of some very real worries about eugenics. Let me first say that eugenics was not deliberately introduced as a solution or imposed on anyone, but rather, a slow trajectory emerged with the advent of designer drugs that were derivative of MDMA. These drugs altered mental states to induce a prolonged euphoric state. At first, the drugs were only accessible to those who could afford them, but over time they became inexpensive and widespread, until eventually being replaced by nanotechnology to achieve the same results with fewer side-effects.”

The images on the frosted glass showed the manipulation of matter with nanotech in the brain as Cambel continued, “This eventually produced a global shift in consciousness that not only resolved the mental health crisis but also reassessed our priorities as a species, from survival to thriving together. From an evolutionary standpoint, human emotions like guilt, shame, jealousy, rejection, sadness, worry, fear, grief, and sorrow all served a function that once helped us survive. These same emotions had become intensified by global crises and no longer aided survival but instead became an existential threat as global mental health worsened. When humanity experienced that shift in consciousness, it was largely attributed to the dissolution of those emotions, which then helped create the conditions for us to reassess our priorities and work toward thriving. Over time, humans oriented scientific and technological innovations to the automation of labour, renewable resources, stabilizing the environment, and resolving international conflicts. Without scarcity, threats of war, and systemic inequities, the shift from nanotechnologies to genetic engineering for a permanent post-Darwinian consciousness, was sensible.”

“Sensible?” Arthur repeated in disbelief. Cambel continued, “Today, all humans are genetically engineered. We no longer have diseases, disorders, or illnesses. We do not experience negative emotions, or at least not in the Darwinian sense I mentioned. Though we still experience pain and death, we don’t process these experiences through fear, sorrow, anxiety, loneliness, and the like. Humans are now genetically hyperthymic. Meaning we are generally blissful, creative, curious, trusting, sociable, energetic, and productive, and we continue to respond appropriately to our environments. The human lifespan has also increased exponentially, and although we don’t yet know how long we can live, we predict hundreds, if not eventually thousands of years.” Cambel paused for a second and gestured to one of the other orientation organizers, “I realize this is a lot to take in, so I’d like to introduce my friend Aneida. They will explain some of the more social aspects of today’s world and hopefully use less science jargon than me.” Cambel smiled warmly as they switched places with Aneida. The imagery on the display also changed to show contemporary people and buildings with unique and unfamiliar designs.

“Thank you, Cambel,” Aneida said before turning to address the audience, “I’m delighted to be here today and meet all of you. This must be confusing and maybe even scary for some of you, but hopefully also a little bit exciting. I know I am very excited to get to know more about you. We have never met anyone like you, so this is also new for us, and we’re hoping we can help you all feel comfortable and welcomed and also take care of any concerns you may have. I’m sure many of you already have burning questions and we appreciate your continued patience until the end of our presentation when we will address your questions and concerns.” 

Aneida continued, “I’d like to start by looking at how our societies operate so you can get a better sense of who we are. From the macro perspective, our world is very different from the one you have been used to. For example, we no longer have nations. Over time, borders were no longer functionally useful and with that, hierarchical government also dissolved. Instead, we have what you might call cities, which are structured bottom-up as a decentralized federated network of converging communities that people freely associate with. As Cambel already mentioned, resources are renewable, and our technology allows us to synthesize matter, so things like food, clothing, or tools are reproduced. What this means for our societies overall, is that people are not concentrated in resource-rich or industrialized areas, also because we don’t work for money anymore, our communities are more spread out and based on interests.”

The images behind Aneida now transitioned between various communities living in mostly small interconnected buildings that incorporated natural resources into the structures, like plant life and water. “Looking at the more micro perspective, some notable things are that we do not domesticate, kill, or eat animals, though our synthesizers produce animal proteins, so yes we still have steak,” Anieda said with a chuckle. Mild laughter could be heard in the audience over the generally confused murmurs. Arthur looked down at the food on his plate. He stabbed his fork into a hunk of meat and pulled it apart to examine the fibres. Aneida continued, “We also don’t generally consume drugs, although they certainly are synthesizable. But we haven’t needed the effects of drugs anymore, so rituals like drinking coffee, smoking tobacco, drinking alcohol, or taking recreational drugs have virtually disappeared. Gender is a construct that has also disappeared. We do have variation in primary and secondary sex characteristics, but these differences don’t determine social roles or sexual attraction. Our romantic partnerships are polyamorous for the most part and children are raised communally. Our children are conceived in vitro and our communities decide when to have children, which is how we also manage our population considering our extended lifespan.”

The crowd fell silent. “I know this is a lot to take in, and please know that we are only sharing a sample of what some of our societies are like with you without any expectations for you to conform. There are diverse communities that operate in a number of ways, which you can inquire about at the end of the orientation. We value agency and your decisions will be respected. We will do our best to accommodate your needs,” Aneida said, “I will pass you on to my colleague, Ra, who will tell you a little more about our genetic engineering and then we will open up to questions.” The display images changed again to highlight genetic structures, as Ra addressed the crowd, “Thank you Aneida, and hello everyone. I would like to talk to you about our genetic diversity. You may have noticed that we look somewhat different from you, and this is the result of many generations of genetic engineering. We have worked to promote genetic health as Cambel mentioned earlier, which means maintaining both genetic diversity in our populations and genetic variation between individuals. As a result, we do not have what you would call racial categories. Our genes are randomized to produce diversity and variation, which results in the phenotypic distinctions you can observe, or what you would call mixed-race. However, that is not the terminology we use because race is a social, not a biological construct, and our societies no longer find this construct socially useful. Unlike the eugenics of the 20th century, which promised designer babies, our genetic engineering is not used to select aesthetic features or desirable traits. We have a diverse genetic pool containing all human genes and use a randomized algorithm to produce optimal individual variation for our population size and environments. Hence why our offspring are conceived in vitro.”

The display showed calculations of genetic sequences followed by images of diverse individuals with variations in skin tone, hair colour, eye colour and shape, different facial structures, noses, jaws, cheeks, and lips. Arthur remembered reading an article a few years back that discussed what future humans might look like, showing AI-generated images of people with similarly unique mixtures of features. Ra continued, “Our genetic engineering program is prepared to offer each of you a genetic modification procedure that will eliminate any possibility for disease, illness, disability, disorders, and suffering. Your body and appearance will not be altered as a result of this procedure but your consciousness will. This procedure is painless, entirely optional, and you can choose to opt in at any time. We do not expect you to decide today and we encourage you to take as much time as you want. Our first priority is to make sure you are all accommodated and have everything you need. Our colleague, Eston, will be available after the question period to help you with accommodations, communities, and finding genetic relatives. Thank you for your patience. We will now open up to your questions.”

Arthur scanned the room and saw several hands raised in the audience. Ra pointed to someone, “Yes, please go ahead.”

Someone from a table behind Arthur spoke, “So you guys don’t drink or do drugs? What do you do for fun?”

Aneida answered, “We do all sorts of activities that we find stimulating, like conversations, storytelling, hiking, art, to name a few. We don’t have any moral objection to mind-altering substances. From my understanding, humans had social rituals around drug use to lower inhibitions and stress, which often promoted pro-social behaviours, like socializing, but also risked anti-social behaviours, like violence, when some of these substances were misused. We don’t have inhibitions and stressors to lower, so we would only experience the risks, toxicity, and consequences of using drugs.” 

“Yes, over here,” Ra pointed to another person in the audience.

“How can we trust you? Like, this is pretty fucking crazy. One minute I’m leaving Mars and the next I wake up on Earth in the future. How do I know this is even real? Maybe you’re aliens manipulating me to think I’m on Earth or something. And now you want me to volunteer to get genetically modified? How do we know you’re not just trying to brainwash us?” The room became louder as people began to talk over one another in the audience.

Ra responded, “Given your circumstance, your skepticism is certainly warranted. However, if you follow your skepticism to its logical conclusion you cannot know with any certainty that anything is real other than your existence. In a hypothetical scenario where we are aliens generating this reality for you, you would not be able to know whether your shipmates are real or simulated either. Also, in this scenario with such advanced technology to produce a simulation for you, or with the intention to brainwash you, we likely would not require your consent to study you.” The room got louder again. 

Aneida chimed in, “You all have every reason to have doubts, concerns, and questions. We will do our best to answer them and hopefully make you feel at ease. And this is why we would advise you to take as much time as you need to consider your decision. We have no intention to coerce or persuade you to accept the genetic procedure. It is your choice and will always be your choice.”   

“Is it reversible?” Someone shouted from the audience.

“No. The procedure cannot be reversed,” Ra responded. 

“What happens if we decide not to do it?” Another person shouted.

“Nothing. You will have the same accommodations, resources, and opportunities regardless of your decision,” Aneida answered. 

“So, what do we do in the meantime?” Someone in the audience asked.

Eston stepped forward to answer, “That’s where I come in to help. We would like you to choose where you would like to live and we will arrange transport and accommodations. You will have access to all community resources and opportunities for personal pursuits, including education, training, or work, should you choose it. I think that once you have experienced life here for a while, it will be easier for you to understand the choices you have available to you, including the genetic modification procedure.” 

The crowd settled a bit and another hand went up. “Yes, please,” Eston said, pointing to the person with the raised hand.

“You mentioned that you don’t have money anymore. So, why do people work?”

Cambel answered, “As I mentioned, most labour is automated, and work for us is largely vocational. We pursue our interests and develop skills that we enjoy using to contribute to our societies. There are essential positions that need to be filled and they are done on a volunteer basis by people who are passionate and experienced. We have many people and far fewer necessary jobs, so most people do not need to work. We work because we want to and most of us participate in some way toward the social good because we value our communities and relationships.” 

“Sounds like they engineered paradise,” Levi whispered to Arthur. 

***

A bright ray of light peered through the curtains, illuminating Arthur's face. Before his eyes opened he felt a sweet warm breath cascading over his face, landing on his lips.

“Good morning my love,” Soma said after kissing Arthur. 

He slowly opened his eyes and a smirk crossed his face, “Mornin’.”

“I made you that hot black coffee you like.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“I don’t know how you could possibly enjoy that taste,” Soma said with a smile.

“It’s an acquired taste. You make the positive association with the feeling it gives you over time.”

“Ah, just like you.” They said, sheepishly booping Arthur’s nose. 

He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, “Am I seeing you tonight?” 

“Yes. I’ll be back for the fire, but I won’t stay too long, I still have my date night with Ferukeh.”

“Right. I’ll be sleeping at Sonora’s so you two can have the place if you want.”

“OK. Good to know. I’ll keep you posted,” Soma said as they got their shoes on, “What are you going to get up to today?”

Arthur got out of bed and set the coffee down on his desk, “I’m gonna try and get some more writing done.”

“You’d get a lot more of it done if you just use the oration function like everyone else,” Soma said with a sly grin.

“You know I like the tactile feel of typing it out. And it gives me time to think and find the right words. When I talk out loud I get ahead of myself and it comes out all…coarse.”

“The AI can correct for that, but I know how you feel about your brooding process. Yet I still don’t understand why you choose to explore suffering.”

“It’s rumination, not brooding. And I think it’s more important to explore this now than ever.”

“Oh, there’s that seriousness again,” Soma said with a smile, “Well I can’t wait to read it.” 

“I’ll see you tonight,” Arthur said leaning over for a kiss goodbye.

After Soma left, Arthur sat down at his desk to type. He sipped his coffee and stared blankly at the screen yet no words were coming to him. When he felt blocked like this, he would twist a tuft of hairs in his beard until isolating a single good one that he would then pluck out and examine. If the writing wasn’t going particularly well, he would often find a collection of broken and twisted hairs lying at the edge of his desk–evidence of his ruminations. Today words were completely evading him and the sun beaming through the window was beckoning him outside. He figured he might as well go for a walk and enjoy the day, perhaps inspiration would follow. 

As Arthur strolled the pathway down to the ravine, one of his neighbours, Amian, caught up with him. 

“Oh hello, Arthur,” Amian said, coming up to greet him, “Mind if I walk with you?”

“Not at all. How are you?”

“I have been mulling over something you said last week at the Salon. You said that even if you experienced only suffering and no happiness, you would still consider life worth living. I can’t stop thinking about this concept and maybe it’s because I’m having a lot of trouble envisioning it.”

“I can’t take the credit. This is something Nietzsche had proposed. It’s a principle I also have some trouble envisioning, to be honest, and I think it would be really hard to live up to, but I’d like to think I could,” Arthur said as the two walked slowly down the path.

Amian furrowed their brows in a quizzical expression, “If we assume a state of consciousness entirely antithetical to mine, for example. Namely, one that negates the possibility for happiness. What intrinsic value would suffering then have? It’s my understanding that Nietzsche aimed to overcome suffering. He was a philosopher who promoted joy. But the condition that a life of only suffering is worth living, denies the possibility of overcoming that suffering. It assumes there is something about suffering that is valuable in itself, even when it's insurmountable. So it begs the question, what is the purpose of suffering that cannot be overcome?” 

They had reached the bottom of the ravine and began to walk along the narrow creek where rays of light cascaded through the foliage above. Arthur pondered for a moment, then replied, “I think Nietzsche had a different notion of overcoming suffering. In his mid-40s he was very sick, barely able to eat, had constant migraines, and was in chronic pain. He didn’t see overcoming suffering as the absence of pain and anguish, but as what meaning he could create from suffering. For him, suffering wasn’t antithetical to joy. In fact, he thought it was indispensable to it. Joy, for him, was the creation of meaning from all that life has to offer, good and bad.”

“Do you think he would have had the same convictions if he hadn’t been suffering?”

“Well… no,” Arthur said, pausing again to think, “He was concerned with nihilism as a general problem in Europe at the time. He wanted to deal with suffering because he thought it was an important problem everyone faced due to a loss of meaning. He wanted to show people how to create meaning in a seemingly meaningless world.”

“Right. So what then is the value of suffering in a world where that problem is solved?

“I…I don’t know. That’s what I’ve been struggling with lately,” Arthur said. 

 ***

The night had just set in. Arthur saw that everyone was already seated in a circle as he approached the firepit. A steady crackling fire illuminated the faces of the people he had come to know so well over the last few months. Soma was seated beside Ferukeh. Amian was holding a copy of Beyond Good and Evil and talking with a friend of theirs. Several of Arthur’s neighbours and friends were engaged in conversation with Levi and Sonora, who were holding each other affectionately. Arthur sat down beside Sonora and greeted everyone. 

“Hi cutie,” Sonora said, wrapping their arm around Arthur and planting a kiss on his mouth. 

“Hi babe,” Arthur replied, then shifting his gaze to Levi, “Hey buddy.” Levi patted Arthur on the back and greeted him warmly. 

“Have you thought about what you want to do?” Levi asked Arthur. Everyone in the circle looked attentively toward Arthur. Sonora held Arthur in one arm and Levi in the other.

“I have. It hasn’t been a simple decision for me. Partially because I’m the last one, but more so because I’ve had this conviction for most of my life. My suffering is important to me.” Arthur replied.

“You know we love you and will support you no matter what,” Sonora said.

“I do, and that’s what makes this decision make sense,” Arthur replied.

Amian interjected from across the fire, “Have you discovered the intrinsic value of suffering? I am still fascinated by this prospect.” 

“You know, I keep going back to Nietzsche. He spoke about the Ancient Greeks who transformed suffering into art as a way of overcoming it by creating the Greek tragedy. We’ve had a historical lineage of suffering being made into some of the most beautiful paintings, musical compositions, poems, literature, and film. The ultimate achievement, for Nietzsche, was for us to overcome ourselves by turning ourselves into living art. It’s the ultimate expression of human freedom, to create meaning and make an art out of living. It makes life worth living a thousand times over. And you’re right, Amian, this life you’ve engineered here is beautiful and meaningful and worth living.” 

“So why choose suffering? Given the choice, who would choose pain?” Levi asked.

“The masochist, who knows the pleasure in it,” Arthur replied with a grin. 

“I have to tell you, you don’t know the pleasure in this new consciousness. It’s like super MDMA,” Levi replied in kind with a smirk, “It’s everything we envisioned, and more, when we used to write about existential suffering. Systemic inequities, oppression, marginalization, mental health issues–all gone. What’s left to suffer for?” 

Arthur lowered his gaze into the fire, “You know, when I got here, it was weird adjusting to this new life. I thought that I’d be seen as inferior by everyone because you’re all superintelligent, superempathic, and superhealthy. And I represent what you negated, in order to become…posthuman. But instead, I found genuine people who were interested in me and even a few amazing people who fell in love with me because I’m different. Because I’m a little neurotic and moody and impulsive and restless and fidgety. Though I have to admit, I’ve never felt more stable, secure, and passionate. I have old friends and new, lovers, and community. But at the same time, it’s precisely my quirks that made me fascinating to so many of you who have never experienced suffering. It’s part of the totality of who I am, and if I remove these parts of me, how will I be whole? Don’t you think that by removing suffering you impoverish the human experience, even if only a little bit?” 

Soma’s kind emerald eyes peered over the fire at Arthur, “I won’t speak for everyone, Arthur, but I love you for the ways you show up for me and make me feel important in your life, the way you listen, your sense of humour, and your integrity. It’s not the manifestation of your symptoms or your pessimism that brings out your humanity. It’s the choices you make every day that make me drawn to you. I’m not fascinated by you because you’re capable of suffering, like some strange experiment. I love the way you move through the world and how you treat people, which makes me feel lucky to be in your life.” 

Arthur’s eyes welled up with tears and Sonora turned toward him, stroking his back and they said, “I fell for you back on the ship. I know you felt something then too, the way you looked at me. It’s the same way you look at me now, even after I’ve been genetically altered. Have I changed so much? You still love me. And I only love you more. Are you afraid that if you lose your suffering, you won't be worth loving?”

Arthur couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and he began to weep. Soma came over and sat beside him, holding him together with Sonora for some time. 

After a while, Arthur managed a few words between sobs, “Thank you…I never realized how much I needed this.” 

“What are you feeling, my love?” Soma asked.

“Mostly relief. But there’s another feeling you may not recognize. It’s a feeling of heavy sorrow that’s simultaneously deeply pleasurable and joyful. It’s what’s called bittersweet.”

 Soma looked at him softly, “I don’t know this feeling, but I do know pure happiness, and you’re part of that happiness. If you ever change your mind, you will always have the choice.” 

Arthur gazed into their bright eyes, seeing a reflection of the undulating flames in the fire, and with a wavering smile, said, “I never wanted happiness. All I ever wanted was to create meaning, in my suffering, as well as my joy, and now I have. I am free.”